Just another quick update. Followed by lyrics I can't get out of my head. I went on my second interview for the Brien Center on Monday. There's 5 candidates for 2 full time positions. So cross your fingers. I'll find out March 6th. I also went on an interview for Hillcrest Educational Centers yesterday. I got a really good vibe there - the recruiter who interviewed me was very nice and personable..slightly frazzled but it put me at ease. So she took some info from me, and is passing me onto the woman who actually hires at the residential center that I'd be working at. Of course, she's not in the office this week, so I should be hearing something Monday or Tuesday. Hopefully the day position is still open, it would be ideal. Full time, with medical and dental benefits. So again, cross your fingers for Hillcrest. If I don't get either of these jobs, I'm gonna be pissed. But there's always BFAIR. Stay tuned.
rachel yamagata - the reason why
I think about how it might have been
We'd spend our days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me
So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
And we hang our heads down
As we skip the goodbyes
And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'll buy a magazine searching for your face
From coast to coast, or where ever I find my place
I'll track you on the radio, and
I'll sign your list in a different name
But as close as I get to you
It's not the same
So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
So, steal the show, and do your best
To cover the tracks that I have left
I wish you well and hope you find
Whatever you're looking for
The way I might've changed my mind,
But you only showed me the door
So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I, you and I, you and I know the reason why.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Just a short note.
My interview went well. I have a second interview on Monday, to go and meet people I'd be working with and to see the residence of the kids I'd be helping. Things have been kinda confusing this past week.
Somebody I think about way too often, yet have not seen in four years, or heard from in two, has come back into my life. Turns out I am not the only one who thinks "you're the one that got away." This seems like a good thing for me; it lifts my spirits.
We've asked Kacie's gramp if we can just rent the entire house from him, meaning I'd have my own apartment upstairs. I hope he says yes, because it would be IDEAL. Cross your fingers!
I miss Velton. Come back already!!!!
I was frustrated about two hours ago, but I've since calmed down. Good music and doing laundry always relaxes me :-).
Kacie, Alicia, and I took Brooke swimming yesterday. (YES, INDOORS!) I think it tired all of us out..even me and I didn't go in the water!
Nip/tuck is on tonight - its the highlight of my week!!!
Not much else to report, just felt like writin real quick.
Love ya lata.
She is a wicked high*Yes she is*She goes down so hard*She might never come back*She’s gonna break free*But she loves to laugh*But I was thinking*I’d love to get some of that*
Somebody I think about way too often, yet have not seen in four years, or heard from in two, has come back into my life. Turns out I am not the only one who thinks "you're the one that got away." This seems like a good thing for me; it lifts my spirits.
We've asked Kacie's gramp if we can just rent the entire house from him, meaning I'd have my own apartment upstairs. I hope he says yes, because it would be IDEAL. Cross your fingers!
I miss Velton. Come back already!!!!
I was frustrated about two hours ago, but I've since calmed down. Good music and doing laundry always relaxes me :-).
Kacie, Alicia, and I took Brooke swimming yesterday. (YES, INDOORS!) I think it tired all of us out..even me and I didn't go in the water!
Nip/tuck is on tonight - its the highlight of my week!!!
Not much else to report, just felt like writin real quick.
Love ya lata.
She is a wicked high*Yes she is*She goes down so hard*She might never come back*She’s gonna break free*But she loves to laugh*But I was thinking*I’d love to get some of that*
Monday, February 9, 2009
Somebody's got a case of the Mondays!
Well, for those who have not heard, I have a job interview at the Brien Center on Friday working with children and adolescents. www.briencenter.org if you're interested.
Just got back from a weekend away. Kacie's floating, that's for sure. I had a really good time too :-). It was nice for her to get away, I know that...I have not seen her sit still for more than five minutes so far. But this weekend she had noooo problem. It was refreshing to see her actually relax and enjoy her life, and enjoy being 23.
We ate, we drank, we danced, we laughed...mostly laughed. See the facebook album entitled. "Listen listen listen listen!!!" under Kacie Mills. There's a picture of me in there where I'm smiling so big, and it's a real smile. I really look happy. I like the picture.
I'm still pretty tired, so I think I'll go take a nap, while I'm still unemployed and can do that kinda thing.
go to youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mVEGfH4s5g
this video has a certain meaning...I KNOW I KNOW. it's beyonce. I only put it on because Kacie has mastered this dance pretty much up until the minute mark...and it cracks me up.
Just got back from a weekend away. Kacie's floating, that's for sure. I had a really good time too :-). It was nice for her to get away, I know that...I have not seen her sit still for more than five minutes so far. But this weekend she had noooo problem. It was refreshing to see her actually relax and enjoy her life, and enjoy being 23.
We ate, we drank, we danced, we laughed...mostly laughed. See the facebook album entitled. "Listen listen listen listen!!!" under Kacie Mills. There's a picture of me in there where I'm smiling so big, and it's a real smile. I really look happy. I like the picture.
I'm still pretty tired, so I think I'll go take a nap, while I'm still unemployed and can do that kinda thing.
go to youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mVEGfH4s5g
this video has a certain meaning...I KNOW I KNOW. it's beyonce. I only put it on because Kacie has mastered this dance pretty much up until the minute mark...and it cracks me up.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Angels and Airwaves - Lifeline
With an urgent, careful stare, And some panic in those eyes
If I see you lying there, Hoping this was the last time
If you hear a distant sound, And some footsteps by your side.
When the world comes crashing down.
I will find you if you hide.
If you wish it, wish it now.
If you wish it, wish it loud.
If you want it, say it now.
If you want it, say it loud.
We all make mistakes.
Here's your lifeline.
If you want it, I want to.
We all make mistakes.
Here's your lifeline.
If you want it, I want to
There's a field near the dream, I watched it grow with whitest light.
I watched us all reach out and lean. For the strength to touch the sky.
If you hear a distant sound, and some footsteps by your side.
If you feel like comin' round, I will take you for a ride.
If you wish it, wish it now.
If you wish it, wish it loud.
If you want it, say it now.
If you want it, say it loud.
We all make mistakes, Here's your lifeline.
If you want it, I want to.
We all make mistakes.
Here's your lifeline.
If you want to I want to....
If I see you lying there, Hoping this was the last time
If you hear a distant sound, And some footsteps by your side.
When the world comes crashing down.
I will find you if you hide.
If you wish it, wish it now.
If you wish it, wish it loud.
If you want it, say it now.
If you want it, say it loud.
We all make mistakes.
Here's your lifeline.
If you want it, I want to.
We all make mistakes.
Here's your lifeline.
If you want it, I want to
There's a field near the dream, I watched it grow with whitest light.
I watched us all reach out and lean. For the strength to touch the sky.
If you hear a distant sound, and some footsteps by your side.
If you feel like comin' round, I will take you for a ride.
If you wish it, wish it now.
If you wish it, wish it loud.
If you want it, say it now.
If you want it, say it loud.
We all make mistakes, Here's your lifeline.
If you want it, I want to.
We all make mistakes.
Here's your lifeline.
If you want to I want to....
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Bombin around
Phew. The past three weeks have been insane. It's been strange, but the further north I've gone, the more I felt like I was shedding a skin of sadness and helplessness. You'd think the colder it got, the more numb I'd become, but it was quite the opposite. Since I've left, I've laughed...I've cried...but I've laughed more. So here's a description of my journey, and bear with me, because I've done more in the past three weeks than I did in the past six months.
I started out on my journey January 14th. After saying goodbye to my dad (who came over in the morning to see me off) and goodbye to my mom, I layed in my room for awhile, just soaking it in. Of course the dog was laying with me. I told her I was sorry, and that she'd be okay, but I had to go. I think she understood, although she was sad because she wouldn't have a buddy during the day anymore. I headed towards Virginia Beach. I was shocked at how much room I actually still had left in my car after packing up my "necessities." It was liberating. Around 5 pm, I walked into Kirsten's house to find my second family inhabiting Kirsten's room. I curled up between Meghan and Rea, and they both passed out (big night of partying the night before, I guess...lol) Kirsten and I caught up for a bit; it's always nice and refreshing to talk to her. We really have good heads on our shoulders, and she's an amazing person. Later that night, her roommates did their version of "Iron Chef" and served the four of us each a 3 course meal. The winner was Rich, hands down...that "shit on a chip" for the first course was what made a comeback for Kyle impossible. We played Wii bowling, and I told Meghan her and I should get drunk. Despite having to catch a plane at 5:30 the next morning, she was game. That's what I love about Meg. Shots were taken, both in liquid form and verbal form. It's always fun to be around people who are your family. I beat the crap out of Meg (she won't admit defeat) and we passed out around 2am. It was pretty awesome...I miss all of them. Now that I'm in Mass, I'd like to go with Kirt to see Meg at her school in Vermont.
Next stop, Long Island. This was the neck of the trip I was most worried about. Driving through or around New York City always kinda intimidates me. I had mom's trusty Garmin though, so I wasn't too worried. The drive was smooth. Delaware and Jersey are about as boring as Pennsylvania to drive through. I planned on getting there around 10-10:30, because Danielle works til 9 or so. I was so excited to see her, it was indescribable. I hadn't seen her in 8 months, and after being attached at the hip for two years, I had always felt like a piece of me had been missing. We don't talk nearly as much as I'd like to, but I understand she's busy. Around 9:30 pm, I noticed my Garmin was taking me through the Lincoln Tunnel. Yup, there I was, spit out into Times Square. Drove right by the Empire State building. I did manage to get a picture. Thank god, despite my South Carolina license plates, I still DRIVE like a New Yorker! I always will. After I made it out alive, I finally took a breath, and continued on my journey. I pulled up in front of Jam's house, and she ran out and gave me the biggest hug. It felt soooo awesome. I literally couldn't believe I was there. All of it was so surreal. I missed her soooooooooooooo much. Of course, five minutes later, we're drinking and talking and laughing and we didn't skip a beat. Originally, I had only planned to stay with Danielle for one night. But some idiot's plans fell through and I ended up staying until Sunday. Thank god I did. Part of me didn't want to leave. Somethin about Danielle and I, we'll always be like soulmates. She's just the tall and skinny version of me, I think. I miss her and can't wait until I can go down there again, or she can come visit me. It's only 4 hours now.
Next stop, Mass!!! I got to Kacie's around 5 or 5:30. I was so excited to see her too, and Brooke. It kinda felt strange but good, because I did feel like I had gotten "home." It was awesome to reconnect and just relax with Kacie where I didn't have to leave in a couple days. That's the thing about friends you make in college, you get used to living with them too, so when they're not there to just 'bomb around' with or hang out with or anything, its kinda strange. Since I've been here, it's been great. I did go to NY for Cindy's birthday the weekend of the 24th. It was pretty hard for me to handle everyone knowing I was there and trying to meet up. She got mad at me, and we haven't talked since. I guess to her there's always been things I've done or haven't done that made me a bad friend. But it's funny because not once did she ask me in 6 months how I was doing with my parent's divorce or my breakup with Jim....oh well. The past is the past. I saw Trav, too. Always interesting. He owes me fifty bucks. Nothing else new there, either...him owing me something. I also brought him to the airport on Sunday. It's kind of a ritual with us at this point. He gives me all of his 'non-plane worthy' stuff to take with me, and makes me park in the parking garage. I always miss him, but when I see him again...I think to myself "what the hell was I thinking?!" But that's how its been since we were 13, and that's how it will always be. It's a mystery, and I stopped trying to figure it out a longggg time ago. After that adventure, I squeezed in a lunch with somebody who's kinda cool. I'm seeing him again this weekend, too :-).
Upon returning to Mass, I got my resume updated (THANKS MOM!) and earlier this week sent out cover letters, resumes, and applications to three different organizations. BFAIR, the Brien Center, and Hillcrest Educational Centers. Hopefully I'll get some feedback here within the next week. Like I told my brother tonight on the phone, I'm gonna call until they say "somebody just give that bitch a job so she stops calling!" Kacie and I are trying to figure out where to move to, what to do about the apartment situation (I don't currently have a bedroom lol), and just what to do with life in general. I think it's amazing that we're together right now, because she gives me so much support and I really don't know what I would have done without her. I appreciate her and her generosity and patience more than she knows. Plus, I love being here and being able to watch Brookie during the day and help save Kacie some money for daycare. I'm glad I get to see her grow and learn.
isn't she cute? I love when she gets right in my face and laughs..like she was doing here! I play the housewife role right now, but I do actually love it. Kacie's an amazing mother and I hope I have my shit together like she does someday. People like her shouldn't get dealt shit that she gets dealt. Despite everyone's negative reactions and comments about me moving in with her, she doesn't care and doesn't let it weigh her down or change her mind. She's stronger than she knows and I admire her. I have faith that both of us will figure it all out and make it work.
As far as what happens now, I don't know. And it feels pretty damn good. Stay tuned... i know this was wayyyy overdue. And everyone please stop bitching at me about not coming to Central NY. I will see everyone, I promise. It just won't be this weekend, or probably the next. But it'll happen. This is me time, and I'm gonna do what I want. I haven't said that or meant that in awhile. I feel like a totally different person. I can only look towards the future in a positive light.
'So I will live as I see fit
and there will be those
who will not like it' -#27, DMB
I started out on my journey January 14th. After saying goodbye to my dad (who came over in the morning to see me off) and goodbye to my mom, I layed in my room for awhile, just soaking it in. Of course the dog was laying with me. I told her I was sorry, and that she'd be okay, but I had to go. I think she understood, although she was sad because she wouldn't have a buddy during the day anymore. I headed towards Virginia Beach. I was shocked at how much room I actually still had left in my car after packing up my "necessities." It was liberating. Around 5 pm, I walked into Kirsten's house to find my second family inhabiting Kirsten's room. I curled up between Meghan and Rea, and they both passed out (big night of partying the night before, I guess...lol) Kirsten and I caught up for a bit; it's always nice and refreshing to talk to her. We really have good heads on our shoulders, and she's an amazing person. Later that night, her roommates did their version of "Iron Chef" and served the four of us each a 3 course meal. The winner was Rich, hands down...that "shit on a chip" for the first course was what made a comeback for Kyle impossible. We played Wii bowling, and I told Meghan her and I should get drunk. Despite having to catch a plane at 5:30 the next morning, she was game. That's what I love about Meg. Shots were taken, both in liquid form and verbal form. It's always fun to be around people who are your family. I beat the crap out of Meg (she won't admit defeat) and we passed out around 2am. It was pretty awesome...I miss all of them. Now that I'm in Mass, I'd like to go with Kirt to see Meg at her school in Vermont.
Next stop, Long Island. This was the neck of the trip I was most worried about. Driving through or around New York City always kinda intimidates me. I had mom's trusty Garmin though, so I wasn't too worried. The drive was smooth. Delaware and Jersey are about as boring as Pennsylvania to drive through. I planned on getting there around 10-10:30, because Danielle works til 9 or so. I was so excited to see her, it was indescribable. I hadn't seen her in 8 months, and after being attached at the hip for two years, I had always felt like a piece of me had been missing. We don't talk nearly as much as I'd like to, but I understand she's busy. Around 9:30 pm, I noticed my Garmin was taking me through the Lincoln Tunnel. Yup, there I was, spit out into Times Square. Drove right by the Empire State building. I did manage to get a picture. Thank god, despite my South Carolina license plates, I still DRIVE like a New Yorker! I always will. After I made it out alive, I finally took a breath, and continued on my journey. I pulled up in front of Jam's house, and she ran out and gave me the biggest hug. It felt soooo awesome. I literally couldn't believe I was there. All of it was so surreal. I missed her soooooooooooooo much. Of course, five minutes later, we're drinking and talking and laughing and we didn't skip a beat. Originally, I had only planned to stay with Danielle for one night. But some idiot's plans fell through and I ended up staying until Sunday. Thank god I did. Part of me didn't want to leave. Somethin about Danielle and I, we'll always be like soulmates. She's just the tall and skinny version of me, I think. I miss her and can't wait until I can go down there again, or she can come visit me. It's only 4 hours now.
Next stop, Mass!!! I got to Kacie's around 5 or 5:30. I was so excited to see her too, and Brooke. It kinda felt strange but good, because I did feel like I had gotten "home." It was awesome to reconnect and just relax with Kacie where I didn't have to leave in a couple days. That's the thing about friends you make in college, you get used to living with them too, so when they're not there to just 'bomb around' with or hang out with or anything, its kinda strange. Since I've been here, it's been great. I did go to NY for Cindy's birthday the weekend of the 24th. It was pretty hard for me to handle everyone knowing I was there and trying to meet up. She got mad at me, and we haven't talked since. I guess to her there's always been things I've done or haven't done that made me a bad friend. But it's funny because not once did she ask me in 6 months how I was doing with my parent's divorce or my breakup with Jim....oh well. The past is the past. I saw Trav, too. Always interesting. He owes me fifty bucks. Nothing else new there, either...him owing me something. I also brought him to the airport on Sunday. It's kind of a ritual with us at this point. He gives me all of his 'non-plane worthy' stuff to take with me, and makes me park in the parking garage. I always miss him, but when I see him again...I think to myself "what the hell was I thinking?!" But that's how its been since we were 13, and that's how it will always be. It's a mystery, and I stopped trying to figure it out a longggg time ago. After that adventure, I squeezed in a lunch with somebody who's kinda cool. I'm seeing him again this weekend, too :-).
Upon returning to Mass, I got my resume updated (THANKS MOM!) and earlier this week sent out cover letters, resumes, and applications to three different organizations. BFAIR, the Brien Center, and Hillcrest Educational Centers. Hopefully I'll get some feedback here within the next week. Like I told my brother tonight on the phone, I'm gonna call until they say "somebody just give that bitch a job so she stops calling!" Kacie and I are trying to figure out where to move to, what to do about the apartment situation (I don't currently have a bedroom lol), and just what to do with life in general. I think it's amazing that we're together right now, because she gives me so much support and I really don't know what I would have done without her. I appreciate her and her generosity and patience more than she knows. Plus, I love being here and being able to watch Brookie during the day and help save Kacie some money for daycare. I'm glad I get to see her grow and learn.
isn't she cute? I love when she gets right in my face and laughs..like she was doing here! I play the housewife role right now, but I do actually love it. Kacie's an amazing mother and I hope I have my shit together like she does someday. People like her shouldn't get dealt shit that she gets dealt. Despite everyone's negative reactions and comments about me moving in with her, she doesn't care and doesn't let it weigh her down or change her mind. She's stronger than she knows and I admire her. I have faith that both of us will figure it all out and make it work.
As far as what happens now, I don't know. And it feels pretty damn good. Stay tuned... i know this was wayyyy overdue. And everyone please stop bitching at me about not coming to Central NY. I will see everyone, I promise. It just won't be this weekend, or probably the next. But it'll happen. This is me time, and I'm gonna do what I want. I haven't said that or meant that in awhile. I feel like a totally different person. I can only look towards the future in a positive light.
'So I will live as I see fit
and there will be those
who will not like it' -#27, DMB
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