Currently writing from Amber's laptop..

So it's been a couple weeks since my last entry, and a lot has happened.  I got an apartment in Manlius, and it's gonna be rough for a few months, but I'm down for it because I finally have my own place. Now to get a job. I might need some help for a little while longer, but Im starting a tab with my mom. I WILL pay her back, whatever I owe. I just need a little time to get on my feet. One step at a time though, and the first step is taken. I've been hanging out with Amber a lot, and it's been fun because we haven't been in the same area long enough to hang out this much, and I have a feeling this summer is gonna be GREAT. 

I JUST NEED A JOB!!!! 

Hopefully, working for Steve Hoag will work out, I called yesterday. I just need a chance. I'll still look for other jobs. Im thinking about being a secret shopper. LOL. Stay tuned.

im a gypsy

How do you know....

Something on facebook just prompted an entire blog entry. I know it's been awhile, and there's a couple slight updates as well.

This week, Kacie and Brooke are in Florida on vacation. To keep myself busy, I'm painting her kitchen cabinets and her living room. Im also catching up on laundry, mailing out more applications to jobs, and organizing/cleaning. I miss them.

I got a part time job at the Brien Center, and I find out the middle of this week more details, and when I start, etc. I made Christina (the woman I've been dealing with) aware that I was still continuing to look for work, since now unexpectedly I have to get my own apartment and am in dire need of full time hours, and benefits. She understands. I'll take whatever I can get at this point though..it's getting my foot in the door.

So I was just on facebook, and I saw that my dad changed his profile picture. And in one of the boxes it said "How do you know Randy Cornish?" My automatic answer lately is that "I feel like I don't." As terrible as that is...he's my father for crying out loud, my daddy...my hero...well he used to be. I understand growing up and growing apart and moving away is natural. But I would have preferred to be near my family...I like them. I always thought my distance from all of them would be something that I would choose, not something that would be chosen for me. I'm not just talking about physical distance, I'm including emotional distance as well. I get a text here and there confirming that, in fact, he is my dad. I don't forget, but I don't necessarily remember as much as I used to.

I've been through a lot in the past couple weeks. For all of you that know, thanks for your support and hopefully that was my rock bottom. I don't see how it could get much worse. Knock on wood, because every time I've said that, it seems that I get another wonderful surprise the next day or week. (that was sarcasm). I'm tired of bad news. The sun coming out lately has improved my mood, though..fresh air always helps.

Ive just decided that painting the cabinets is a two day job. I did the lower ones today, and I'll do the upper ones tomorrow. I'm off to fold a ridiculous amount of laundry...


It's made up of lonely moments
There was always a moment there when I knew.
You always gave installments,
Always knew you concentrated and grew.

And I believe in reinvention,
Do you believe that life is holding the clue?
Take away all the lonely moments,
Give me full communication with you.

OAR - shattered

In a way, I need a change
From this burnout scene
Another time, another town
Another everything
But it's always back to you

Stumble out, in the night
From the pouring rain
Made the block, sat and thought
There's more I need
It's always back to you

But I'm good without ya
Yeah, I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered
I always turn the car around
I had no idea that the night
Would take so damn long
Took it out, on the street
While the rain still falls
Push me back to you
But I'm good without ya
Yeah, I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered

I always turn the car around

Give it up, give it up, baby
Give it up, give it up, now
Now How many times can I break till I shatter?

Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
All that I feel is the realness I'm faking
Taking my time but it's time that I'm wasting
Always turn the car around
How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Don't wanna turn that car around

I gotta turn this thing around